Eclecticisms

a new york state of mind

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 08:40:59 GMT

Howdy. I don't have a lot of patience for this sort of thing anymore (obviously) but I can't seem to fall asleep tonight, which leads to general reminiscing. What makes this night different from any other night is that I went back and read my old blog posts. Well, some of them. It was most amusing.

the 411

I live in Brooklyn now. More specifically, in Williamsburg. But not the Bedford Ave part, although that's within walking distance. Instead I call the Grand Street area home, which is a decidedly less hipster-fied area. I'm currently working as the Artistic / Literary Intern at the Roundabout Theatre Company, which has been pretty great and is steadily 10-6, M-F. I do a lot of administrative work but also read script submissions, stage manage our developmental playreadings, and attend/evaluate other readings of plays we may be interested in. I see a lot of theatre and jazz, generally for free. It's pretty sweet.

the thing about sleep

Basically, I think my problem is that every time I go to bed I try to discover the one position in which I will be Perfectly Comfortable. As you may guess, this never works out. I also made the mistake of putting on Chet Baker, which has lead to toxic levels of nostalgia, self-reflection and melancholy.

opening night

I'm seeing this tomorrow night at the BAM. Here is the Times' article about it: www.nytimes.com/2008/11/30/theater/30Sell.html I'm generally in support of plays in Dutch with supertitles. It also may or may not be a second or third date. As one might observe, it's a little unclear. It also doesn't help that we're both extremely awkward people. Like me, she's a theoretically-up-and-coming director. Generally we disagree about theatre, which is fun.

good night and good luck

Alright, journalees, this has been fun. This doesn't seem to be doing much to get me to sleep, which sucks. Oh well. As always, I am simply trying to provide a slice of my life. In short: here I am in New York. I am trying to get a career in directing started, which is a tricky business (the starting of — let's not even get into the art). I'm finally feeling good about meeting new people after pretty much hanging out with exclusively Brown friends for the past 5 months. Life is Not Bad. Good, even. Come and visit some time!

that day is not today

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 09:02:55 GMT

Which is to say, when I get bored enough to make one of those massive "This is your life" style posts after so long an absence.

A lot has happened this semester, and the remaining weeks before its close are to be stress filled.

Come see ELSEWARDS, an original, student written musical I'm acting in on Brown's Main Stage. It'll be a ton of fun, I promise.

hey i can be a blogger too

Tue, 14 Aug 2007 02:18:33 GMT

Boredom insists that I make some sort of post. I am at the Cape, in the town of Dennis. Hello, from Dennis.

big fish
Suddenly I find myself a senior. I've been wearing the title uncomfortably over the summer. It implies closure. Not the good kind of closure, but rather the "we don't know where he is or what he's doing but he's not here anymore" kind of closure, like Fortinbras after Hamlet.

Recently, after hanging out with various youngsters, I find myself more comfortable with the idea of being old. I was talking with a few friends of mine I was visiting about Brown theatre about this. We are now the personalities, the intimidating upperclassmen everyone has heard of.

To be notorious. That, I suppose, is the fun of it.

a thought
Is blogging the new letter writing? A skill one develops both to keep in touch with one's friends and to display their education/intelligence?

the shape of things
If I can say anything about the summer, it's made me more certain than ever that I'm going to have to go into theatre. This means a day job, shows on shoestring budgets rehearsed after-hours, and probably expensive rent in New York City. But now I feel ready for that.

requisite vague post about my love life
No real news. I'm interested in someone new, I think she's interested in me, and I think we'd be good together. I occasionally substitute "hope" for "think" in those statements, depending on how confident I'm feeling at the moment.

Like most of Providence, she left today to go back home for a few weeks before school starts. We'll see what happens when she gets back.

the MA ma-gic ma-rathon tour
In the span of five days, I traveled and spent time in places throughout Massachusetts. Wednesday I took the train up from Providence to pick up the car at my house, and then headed out to Williamstown. If you've never been there, the drive is about 2.5 hours from Boston, the quickest route there winding its way through the Berkshires. It's hard to get my head around the fact that the state that I would most consider my home has just as beautiful mountain vistas as anywhere else. I would term it the perfect drive.

Thursday I returned to Boston, then headed down the Providence. Saturday had me spending the day at Whitehorse Beach in Plymouth and returning again for my friend's 21st birthday party. Sunday I headed out to Dennis. Hello, from Dennis.

one sentence reviews of things
Camel Turkish Silvers: My new cigarette of choice.
Plymouth water: Freaking cold.
The Bourne Ultimatum: An awesome action movie that might've made absolutely no sense if I wasn't familiar with tropes from 24 / The West Wing.
HP7: The movie is going to have to be 3 hours long, and the Battle of Hogwarts is going to have to take up a third of it, and maybe we can rework the Epilogue.
A Director Prepares by Anne Bogart: This book is changing my views on directing and art in general.
8mm: This is one doozy of a fucked up movie with strong neo-Noir influences and an interesting parallel between its subject matter and itself that basically all goes to hell in the last 20 minutes.
Munich: Turns out that Spielberg has directing chops after all, and he uses them to make this unflinching portrayal of revenge that strikes all sorts of chords with the War on Terror.
Iced soy latte at Starbucks: I would get this more often if I didn't feel like a complete girly man ordering it.
The Corn is Green at the Williamstown Theatre Festival: Strong performances all around, the show makes for great summerstock in basically being well-done storytelling, but the script has holes in logic and moral consistency that would prevent it of ever being stylistically elevated to the level that theatre is capable of / should be performed at.
RiRa: This downtown Providence "Irish" pub has surprisingly delicious food.
The summer: Exhilerating professional work, great new friends and a middling to passable social life, not including the epic drinking.

if i can't take my coffee break, something inside me dies
Dunkin Donuts on Thayer Street has closed. Well, technically it's moved to somewhere in Pawtuckett, but hell if I can get there. It comes as a shock I know. I'll have to take a stop into Blue State and see if they'll be able to pick up the slack.

harry potter 5:

Wed, 11 Jul 2007 07:22:38 GMT

This was unbelievably awesome, the best blockbuster movie I've seen this summer.

one of those nights

Tue, 10 Jul 2007 12:05:20 GMT

I am not able to fall asleep. This happens to me occasionally.

my job this summer
I'm assistant directing Neighborhood 3: Requisition of Doom. The playwright's summary is better than the one I had written:

Take a tour of this American suburb and you’ll find the usual: prescription drug abuse, video game addiction, cultish social programming. But beneath the surface lies something sinister. An unspeakable fear turning deadly. A game model in which only the bloodthirsty win. And a virtual neighborhood from which escape is an unreality.

playwright's rep
The show is going up as part of the professional summer theatre company at Brown, Brown/Trinity Playwright's Rep. All three shows are awesome. I have little cards I give out at parties with the schedule:

boom by Peter Nachtrieb:
July 11-14 and August 3 at 8p, August 4 at 1p

Neighborhood 3: Requisition of Doom by Jennifer Haley:
July 18-21 and August 2 at 8p, August 4 at 4p

Torah! Torah! Torah! A New Musical by Steven Levenson and Andrew Hertz
July 25-28, August 1 and 4 at 8p

addictions
Cigarettes. Not throughout the day yet, but I start chain smoking at night. Start carrying my iPod around in place of a pack, and listen to music when I feel like lighting up. Marlboro 27's if you're curious (love ya Mikey).

Rock climbing. Roughs up my hands something awful, but it's great to start again and stick with it. Lincoln Woods is awesome. A YouTube search for it yields some fun results.

Mint gum. Half a pack a day. No joke. Does the aspartame start to get dangerous at those levels?

living
The apartment is sweet. My room is sizable, on the corner with nice windows that bring in lots of light, a huge bed, and a sort of weird corner desk thing.

one sentence reviews of things
Everyone's favorite time!

Transformers: Although the marketing campaign made me physically ill, the robots were fucking awesome and the human stuff was campy at worst and hilarious at best.

Ramen: My favorite recipe.

Live Free or Die Hard: A great action movie but not a Die Hard script, it needed a Hans Guber and an understanding of the internet not from 10 years ago.

Faustus by David Mammet: This play reads like it was written in the 18th century, and aside from about 2 moments lacks the theatrical force that makes the Marlowe version so awesome.

Wagamama's in Faneuil Hall: Reasonably priced, delicious first US noodle bar of the renowned European franchise.

A Wild Sheep Chase by Haruki Murakami: The mundane becomes elevated, the noir one-man-forced-to-find-a-sheep-by-a-large-and-powerful-corporation-for-mysterious-reasons story carries through strongly all the way to end.

Coffee and Cigarettes: This hilarious movie probably didn't help my smoking habit.

28 Weeks Later: The zombie-dad plot was kind of (okay extremely) weird, and it wasn't as good as the original, but it got a lot of things that the former got right again, but differently.

Redbull: Still fucking awesome.

Rockstar: Way too sweet and at every AEPi party.

The Wedding Crashers: Select moments are brilliant, the rest is disappointingly predictable and borderline homophobic / chauvinist.

Feedback by Jurassic 5: Back to the sound of Quality Control, plus awesome live tracks equals you must listen to this album now.

Nick's on Broadway: This Federal Hill restaurant makes more amazing omelets than Brickway, but was closed for renovations when I tried to come back for dinner.

Siena Restaurant (on Federal Hill): Looks too trendy to be good, but then it is, making it both good and trendy.

jazz after hours

Tue, 05 Jun 2007 08:50:24 GMT

There's just something about those blues. Every time they come on, I have turn my radio all the way up and drive with the windows down.

i know
2 days in a row! I never post 2 days in a row! I must be so bored!

wtf?
My friend is going to live with her boyfriend in San Francisco this summer (more specifically Paolo Alto). She's nervous because it will be the longest amount of time she's been away from home ever. This little handoff, of sorts, wasn't something she'd been planning. She's not exactly that old school. The scary thing for me is her statement:

If things go well this summer, he'll propose to me.

back home to rhode island
Sometimes it feels that way. Sometimes it doesn't. Regardless, I want to begin my stay for the summer there some time next week. Can anyone give me a good reason to get in by a particular day? I was thinking the 14th for now.

murakami
Still obsessed with Murakami. Almost finished with A Wild Sheep Chase, which is amazing. Throw a bunch of his books on my to-do list.

one sentence reviews
Spiderman 3: This movie was hilarious; apparently a deep inner struggle means being a doucebag for about 10 minutes.
Pirates 3: First series finale since Return of the King that wasn't disappointing, well, except for the ending.
Ron Paul on the Daily Show: The Kucinich of the right.
Jan Shakowsky on the Colbert Report: Did well, though I don't really know how to win a Colbert interview — you're either in on the joke or your not, but either way you butt up against him.
Colbert Report in general: First I thought it was derivitative of The Daily Show, now I think it's derivative of Da Ali G Show, regardless it's still pretty funny.
World of Warcraft: I spend too much time on this.
My party on Saturday: Between 7 people, we drank 27 of 30 'stones.

it's that time of the month
My friends and I are twenty-somethings. We are now just beginning to realize the full implications of that title. When did we get this old, and why haven't most of our lives gotten any more sorted out?

Only, perhaps asked ironically.

That is, if irony isn't dead.

In that case, I'll use zombie irony.

Let's see if I finish writing this...

Mon, 04 Jun 2007 08:52:38 GMT

Been awhile. Hi. School is over and I am home, before plunging back into the almost-Boston-jungles of Providence, Rhode Island. I'll be at the corner of Brook and Euclid for the summer. If you don't know me "IRL," you could perhaps consider using google maps' new freaky level of magnification to spy in a window. You might just get lucky.

dude, you're killing my buzz
First major change: I have short hair. Like, way shorter. Buzzed. Well, a long buzz, but abso-fucking-lutely no bangs. Fear not, my expressive and newly visible eyebrows will pay you back tenfold for the amount of sheen I have lost.

do you know me, sir?
We had a 20th aniversary party for the theatre teacher at my high school today. An amazing man. A play of his is actually getting produced at the Utah Shakespeare Festival this summer. I probably got my bard addiction from him. Or off a toilet seat.

The weird thing was that a number of the speakers were comparing him to his predecessor, who had taught at the school for 25 years, and who died last Sunday. There's something off about that, it seems to me to be a bit too "forward thinking."

I performed a monologue for it, Dromio from A Comedy of Errors, it's a funny piece about how this dude is pursued by this fat chick. There's this joke about the Netherlands that's priceless. I don't think that sentence is uttered / written often. Those crazy Netherlandians.

It's amazing to me how I still can feel so young around the people who used to be the upper classman back when I was a high school actor. They manage to reawaken the naive, dorky unconfident person in me. I feel like I'll never be as cool as them. It's not the same way with my closest friends, but with those only slightly older people I seem to fall back into the old roles. Five year reuinion shock a couple of years early, am I right?

my attention span
Is very short. Honestly, if it's more than a few paragraphs, and those paragraphs are longer than a few setences, and those sentences have more than a few commas, I'm not going to read it. Semicolons are right out.

When you're writing your blog post, keep it brief. Think of the children.

plans for this summer (one of those annoying lists)
I don't expect anybody to read this whole thing:
- Cut together several plays
- Read several diverse materials
- Learn guitar
- Get the hell in shape
- Girlfriend Episode IV: A New Girlfriend

i like the love life baby, let's go
I was going to muse about my feelings. I realize now that no one really cares about my feelings. More accurately it's not all that interesting, which is to say that you are all lovely and compassionate people.

Here's the bottom line — I've moved beyond desperate. I am, in fact, so desperate that I am now choosy.

what am i doing this summer? a rehash (perhaps)
I will be assistant directing for the Brown Trinity Playwrights Rep, a professional theatre company based out of Brown. I'll keep you abreast of shows. They cost $10 to get into and are awesome.

I'm working on Neighborhood 3: Requistion of Doom. The director of that show is known for his production of Macbeth at Trinity Rep that was cut down to 5 characters (the Macbeths and then the weird sisters playing everything else) and was legitimately terrifying, like give-you-nightmares scary. I'm excited to learn from him.

that dude who interviews people on 60 minutes
is too old. He is so old. I think like 89. Watching him arguing with Dr. Kevorkian was otherworldly. You know how white people are sometimes accused of not being able to tell black people apart? I can't tell old people apart. White hair? Wrinkly care-worn face? All the same person to me. I would've paid a lot of money to see them square off in a boxing ring. Why can't reality TV listen to the people for once?

i wish

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 05:10:15 GMT

I wish depressed was a strong enough word to use, but it seems more like I've got the blues.

I can't seem to settle down and do the things that I know I need to do, even though I know they won't take long and I have time to do them earlier. Like now, I'm so procrastinating.

woyzeck
The production of Woyzeck currently showing at PW (plays one more night, Monday 4/16 at 8p) is simply amazing. I'm completely obsessed with this play now.

summer
Yet again, I'll be here in Providence this summer. Do ring me up.

weather
We're getting a big rain/wind extravaganza today. That would be fine if it weren't 38 degrees outside. This royally sucks.

he talks about the weather
Not much to say, I guess. Posting in this journal always leaves me feeling boring, or perhaps a better word is hopeless. Still pretty much the same lonely person I was at the beginning of the semester.

And I know that things happen for a reason, or have a way of working out, or whatever. It really is a nice thought.

The wind is blowing so hard, I imagine a branch flying from the tree next to my window, shattering it. A hail of glass covering me as I feel the cold rush of air.

As I wade deeper into the river, the text begins to fade. All I want to do is know the ending definitively. That is, of course, the question we can never answer.

we are not whales

Sat, 07 Apr 2007 17:09:35 GMT

Rehearsals every night plus the regular school work has been pretty draining. The past few weeks I've found myself coming back to Taryn. I don't know why, but I've slipped back into a melancholy about her, or about the whole thing, or maybe about my inability to find someone else. I am given to understand these things come and go, and I look on it with a kind of fascination, more than anything else.

"My friends, I know not why I am so sad..."

Well, I guess I know.

relay for life
A funk band I'm in will be playing at the relay for life, on Brown's main green on Friday, 4/13. I think we go on around 12:30a. I guess that makes it Saturday, 4/14.

a wild sheep chase, haruki murakami
"Our human sex life—how shall I put it?—differs fundamentally from the sex life of the whale. We are not whales—and this constitutes one great theme underscoring our sex life."

Tue, 20 Mar 2007 07:14:56 GMT

Oh. My. God. Too. Much. Work.

some of these are leftover from valentine's day...

Sat, 10 Mar 2007 17:27:56 GMT

Type: Common interest - Dating & Relationships

Description: LOVE IS WORTH PAIN..U MAY GET HURT IN THE END BUT THE BEGINNING IS WORTH EVERY SECOND....SOMETIMES IT BRINGS U CLOSER OR JUST BE FRIENDS..SOMETIMES ENEMIES..BUT ITS NOT A WASTE ON TIME IT JUST THE THING U GOT 2 GO *THRU*

Thank you, facebook group, you have truly enlightened me.

the revenger's tragedy
I am directing a play for Shakespeare on the Green called The Revenger's Tragedy. It's pretty freakin' sweet, the only problem is that the script is goddamn long, and I need to cut almost half of it. The first rehearsal is tomorrow, so I need to get my rear in gear, as they say.

A blurb I wrote about the production:
"Ridiculously cruel. Hilariously violent. First performed in the Globe by the King's Men in 1606, The Revenger's Tragedy speaks in some of Shakespeare's language but exercises none of his restraint. All parts are significant in size, several involve doubling. The path to revenge is paved with blood, guns and dark comedy."

That's about right.

my grandma on valentine's day
Knowing that you have broken up with that 'cute chick'* you were dating last
summer, I am not sure that I should even bring up Valentine's Day but maybe
you have found another. I hope your year is going well; what play are you
producing this year? And can you recite all Shakespeare's plays yet? What
are you plans for the summer? I hope that silly mechanical toy that I gave
you for christmas is still working. I thought they were hilarious. Love to
you. Grandma Rogers
* that is what an elderly lawyer here calls those females on his staff that
he offers his extra basketball ticket. he does not take them to the game
nor home because he never waits til the end but leaves at the last time-put.

senior slot
I just found out a few days ago that the project I've been wanting to direct basically since I got to Brown is accepting proposals next week. This is rather bad, as I don't have a play I think I can do, and rehearsals for Revenge start tomorrow. Basically as soon as I finish cutting today I'll be locking myself in the library.

i saw swinger's last night
I kind of liked it, then I hated it, finally I loved it. The funny thing is, I'm right about where the movie leaves off, if I'm Mike. Just about to go on a second date with someone I really like. How will this fadge?

bite the bullet baby

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 22:56:16 GMT

I've pretty much committed myself to taking Spanish 40 (upper intermediate Spanish) at 9am Monday through Thursday. For two and a half years now I've been avoiding 9am's, because I know that my reasoning, having just awakened in those early hours, is not the best. Thoughts like, "It'll only take me a minute to get out the door" and "Well the last time I missed class was last Tuesday, so I guess I can skip this" dance through my head like the awkward sexual fantasies of a thirteen-year-old boy.

Why, then, am I knowingly committing myself to early rising for not two or even three days of the week, but four? Well, first of all, my Renaissance Studies major has a language requirement, even though my field is Shakespeare, and this was the only course I could fit around my other obligations. I also happen to have no classes scheduled on Fridays.

Really though, it's my love of judging my peers that is the motivating force behind this move. There is no better place for people to reveal how ignorant, slow, or annoying they really are than a 9am language seminar. From the girl who breaks into English as soon as whatever goofy exercise we're doing is over to my wonderful partner who was attractive until she couldn't string more than three words together without marvelously contorting her face and belching forth a mighty "UUUUHHHHHM," this class is a virtual carnival of retardation.

This may seem quite misanthropic to you, gentle reader. Perhaps even bitter. But please, I'm a very late-night person getting up early every morning to re-take a high school class, it's all I have left.

plans plans plans
I'm thinking of asking a girl out. We're talking real traditional dating, people. With a real girl, too. I'm also thinking of talking to a certain someone. Now, before you jump on me about how I need closure (and you're totally right, and many real life friends have started to tell me the same thing), I just want to say that I need to be sure I'm ready. As always, I'll keep you posted.

don pasquale
Some friends of mine from Brown Opera Productions and I went to see Don Pasquale produced by Opera Providence at the Columbus Theater, a really cool old building that is somewhat in disrepair. Lovely singing, absolutely shitty direction and set design. The concept of being able to do something while talking/singing seemed absolutely mind boggling to these people, with the entire business of a scene consisting of practicing swinging a golf club, swinging it, then practicing again. For ten minutes. "I will swing, you will watch me swing. Wow this is fascinating." I shit you not.

In general the opera, and light comedy from the 19th century, suffered from a lack of commitment to big choices. You could tell things were kind of funny, but they just weren't. "Ah, that's cute" you'd say when the potential was there to get people absolutely rolling in the isles. I'm not all that surprised, because although the director, Lynn Torgove, has a lot of production credits as both a director and performer, her main specialty is singer training. There were a few good ideas here and there (a highlight for me was a sight gag where Ernesto, packing up to leave the house, holds up a vintage Brown sweatshirt) overall the whole affair was thoroughly bloodless and bland.

The scenic design was also crippling to the production. I'm completely surprised because the designer, Laura C. McPherson, has a pretty good resume, including a 2001 award for a design of hers. Honestly I've seen better and more creative sets in high school productions. It was as if the director came up to the designer and said, "I really just need as many places for people to sit as possible." There was a sofa, there was a plush chair, the was a desk and chair set, there was even a window seat. This resulted in the performers being completely limited in their movement lines. Some paths were even very obviously too narrow. So we got a lot of "I will sit down here now, and now I will sit down here" type blocking. The design also consisted of three complete sets with one back drop, even though two of the sets were only used once each. This meant that between several scenes they had to close the curtain and change the set, which only took about 10-15 minutes. That plus the intermission turned what should have been a pleasant two hour opera into a 3 hour epic trip into boredom. Set changes? A painted backdrop? Just because the production was set in 1930's Newport doesn't mean we have to design like it's 1930. Much better (and cheaper, which would seem to be important to Opera Providence judging from how many times the producer got up and spoke) to design one set more abstractly that can temporarily transform into the other two locations.

All of this stuff aside, I did have a pretty good night at the op'ry. There were certainly some good moments, the singing was excellent and oftentimes impressive, and most importantly I was there with a lot of good friends.

and there she was

Mon, 22 Jan 2007 18:47:48 GMT

Funny thing... On the way to Wickpub I was talking to my friend Tom, saying how I was pretty sure I was going to answer the ADPhi door and be face-to-face with Taryn.

We get back, I run up to answer the door.

There she is.

I say "hi" and bolt, I'm talking flat-out running. I hide until I figure it's "safe" to emerge.

I then proceed to drink myself blind.

What the fuck?

Should I be trying to talk to her or to avoid her? This is hilarious considering I thought she would be the one trying to avoid me.

Is it really that I don't want to see her because I don't want closure? That I actually like all this "I'm so sad" crap?

I'm just so confused and upset right now, but I don't know what to do with myself.

linguistic resolutions

Sat, 20 Jan 2007 02:40:11 GMT

I hereby resolve to use the following phrases:

In detailing the attractiveness of a perspective mate to my compatriots, I shall henceforth refer to said female as a "total babe."

When questioned by an acquaintance as to their visual appearance, I shall henceforth declare that they "look like a champ."

she tied you to a kitchen chair, she broke your throne and cut your hair...

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 12:05:58 GMT

I'm pretty sure I've been over my growing House addiction. Well tonight I was totally blindsided by a brilliant episode. And I'm not talking about "wow that's brilliant," although it was.

5 stages of grief
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

oh yeah that vacation thingy
Perhaps the best time I've spent this winter break was going into Boston over last night and most of today. I got to see Tom, Frank, Lauren and Jordan. It was delightful, delicious, dare I say "delovely."

random song references
My brother was playing a track on the way into Cambridge last night that referenced a song I sang in high school. It was by Mos Def and Talib Kweli. Whatever they themselves. The hip-hop song that is. "Black is the color of my true love's hair." A really, really classical song that I wouldn't expect anyone ever to know. I was, needless to say, blindsided.

more songs about buildings and people
Dr. Cameron, a fellow at the Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital under Dr. House, the head of diagnostic medicine, has a patient who complained of a cough. When she took a CT scan of the lungs, all signs pointed to terminal lung cancer, but Cameron refused to diagnose it until all other possibilities were completely ruled out.

Cameron first goes to House to try and get some sort of alternate diagnosis. He keeps on trying to get her to admit that patient is dying, and eventually, when asked to write up the differential diagnosis, instead puts ont he board the 5 stages of grieving / 5 stages of death. This of course isn't well received.

Later in the episode, Cameron needs House to approve an elaborate and fairly unnecessary test. First she yells at him, because he's more concerned with his patient who's an inmate on death row than her seemingly deserving cancer victim, but eventually offers to do his clinic hours for him. He looks at her for a while. "You know," he says, "this is supposed to be for the victim, but you just transitioned seamlessly from anger to bargaining," crossing them off of the list.

Finally, at the end of the episode, House is brooding alone in his office, drinking, as Leonard Cohen's "Halleluja" plays in the background. We're pretty certain he's thinking about his ex-girlfriend who is now married and works as the lawyer for the hospital. He glances over at the board, where everything but "depression" and "acceptance" are crossed out. The last shot is him erasing the word "acceptance."

I've laid this plot out for you in a logical way, perhaps even in a form eerily similar to some sort of fan fiction, but you have to imagine that there's an entirely different main plot that runs in between each of these paragraphs, and so the last scene becomes a sort tying everything together in an expected way kind of thing. Plus, Hugh Laurie has those amazingly expressive eyes.

some one sentence reviews of bars
Cambridge Brewing Company - Excellent variety of custom blends is worth the trip, especially considering the reasonable price and good service.

Miracle of Science - A cute theme for a bar, it's pretty average, but being able to buy by the pitcher is a plus.

Asgaard - Someone said this was fo-Irish, I thought it was more vaguely-modern-European with a moderately impressive draft list and an MIT clientèle.

Jack's - (I think this is waht it's called, I know it's in the Theatre District and called something like "Jack's") Amazing draft and bottled selection, but you pay for what you get; this is still the Real Deal.

metaphors suck
I feel like house, popping my Vicadin of DVD releases of TV shows (well, one in particular), various alcoholic beverages (wine tonight) and jazz music. Something to numb the mind perhaps rather than eliminate it from the system. I forgot how tastey they were.

depression =>? acceptance
Such a small step in the way, but then it turns into a labyrinth or something crazy like that.

impressions

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 10:16:49 GMT

R.I.P. Michael Brecker.

R.I.P. Alice Coltrane.

A rough weekend for jazz.

bar hopping
First time bar hopping in the states. And by hopping, I mean going with one friend to two different bars. But it was really cold! Watch City Brewing Company in particular was amazing, with 8 different delicious custom brews on tap. I may get a few growlers to take back with me to school.

let's get ready to rumble
School's going to start soonish. Within a week. I don't know if I'm ready for That Thing I Won't Shut Up About, but it never really matters, does it?

I've been playing Fight Night 2004 a lot, it's very fun.

a rough weekend for jazz
My electronics setup for my trombone just got a hell of a lot cooler. I acquired this, which basically can replicate any effect you can think of. The pedal on the side is for wah wah, which you can activate and de-activate at any time. I don't think I'll bust it out at Lush Life, but you never know.

There's a whole bunch of complicated shit surrounding electronic manipulation of music that I absolutely can't fathom. This includes effects, electronic instruments, and recording. It's all one big digital mess to me. Soon, though, I will understand.

millions of people
A theory. People always talk about how offensive I am. Or blunt. Straightforward is the nice way of saying it. I've noticed that whenever I make those kinds of remarks, I always think the recipient is going to take it better than they do. Sometimes I'm right, but that is not the general trend. The thing is, I don't deny that I am a least partially misanthropic.

lush life
January 26th, 10p-2a, ADPhi lounge. Our semiannual jazz cocktail party. As usual, my band will be making an appearance.

kind of blue
I was so depressed up until yesterday. I don't know what triggered it. Now it only comes back for brief spells.

my quest
To create the video game that makes it undeniable that video games are art. The Casablanca of video games (OK, I know that's actually a bad metaphor). All I really have to go on right now is that it would require an interface that is both intuitive and yet allows for a great deal of creativity from the user, hopefully in a way that isn't really possible to document. The wii controller makes me hopeful for this.

must clip
My friend worked as an intern on a show that runs on Adult Swim (I'm sure they'd want their name in decaps, thus, I spite them). It's great. It's called "Assy McGee," and it's basically about a walking butt wielding a gun that works as a New York City detective. I wish I could make this up.

I need to clip my fingernails. They always drive me crazy when they get long, and yet I never give myself the time to cut them.

a public statement

Wed, 10 Jan 2007 21:58:26 GMT

Well that post gets friends-locked. I didn't even remember what I wrote.

I'm beginning to feel like I've beaten the internet... What funny new videos are out that I haven't seen yet?

Sorry, that was a little too metafilter-esque.

"I never writ" is finished. I went to a jam session last night and got pretty thoroughly served by music school students. I was writing the tune all day on trumpet, so I guess I blew out my chops pretty badly.

Also popped the tire on my car last night. The good news is that I had to get up before noon to go get it fixed.

Wed, 10 Jan 2007 09:38:18 GMT

I'm severely messed up right now. This seems to be the state in which I endlessly think about it the most. Thankfully, I'm tired.

Two can play at this "ignorance" game.

21>>20

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 10:56:32 GMT

Finally got up off of my lazy sleeping-til-2-and-playing-video-games ass and actually did something. Read about half of a play I'm thinking of directing. I also wrote a new jazz tune. The funny thing was that it just wouldn't get out of my head until I worked it out and wrote it down.

no, i'm fine, really i am
I hate realizing I'm being passive aggressive. Like today, for the first time I can remember I saw her signed in on AIM. I completely froze up, I didn't know what to do. Well not that I really had to do anything, but, well, there she was signed on and available, and there I was, signed on with an away message. So what do I do? Change my away message! First to the lyrics to "Stuck in the middle with you," one I've used for quite a while, and perhaps a little relevant? Mysterious? Yes. Then to something else. Something... passive aggressive. Then I went fully online, and she logged off. Moral of the story? AIM is for petty tools, I guess.

name that tune
I'll have to figure out what to call this thing. It's pretty straight ahead right now, with a bit of a twist. I have a penchant for weird chords, including a great big fat B-7b5(b9 b11). Yes. That's one chord. B D F A C Eb. As to the piece — it's not nostalgic, and it's not a blues. So nothing obvious really presents itself.

The one jazz composition I have written is titled "Cymbaline," but I can't really think of a Shakespeare play this reminds me of. Oh. What about "I never writ?" Hmmm... A little Sonnet 116 action perhaps?

things that exist
1.) Professional arm wrestlers
2.) The World Series of Arm Wrestling
3.) Arm wrestling announcers

some sort of pitch?
I can get a G, D, E, F and B pretty reliably by singing the baseline to Miles Davis' "All Blues." I guess I've listened to it a lot. I haven't tested this enough to see if it's legit.

old things
While frantically digging up my entire room to find manuscript paper upon which to notate the song stuck in my head, I came across some of my poems from junior year of high school, from about four years ago. As I read each one I remembered the exact event or image it concerned, and from that the challenge of putting that to words. I remembered the options I weighed in phrasing and grammar and all of that other writing stuff, and I immediately started making mental edits. Perhaps I'll take of few of them out, edit them and post them.

proof that I existed before last year!
More proof arrived today in the form of two of my brother Ben's (and kind of my) friends from grade/early middle school. They're all going skiing in Maine tomorrow. I'll be doing research, reading and writing.

yon sober-blooded prince
I will find my sense of humor again with regards to this blog. I promise.

[name of band] lives!
Went to a jazz concert on Saturday with my friend Nathan from school, who happens to live relatively nearby. We're buds from playing together in a jazz combo last year, and we got to talking about electronics, seeing as how I just got a set-up for my trombone, and he's a bass player into electronic music.

The idea is to create a small, committed avant-garde / avant-funk / fusion / acid jazz group. Don't know what we're going to call ourselves yet, but I think we'll make some pretty good music.

reading my poetry, clumsy art does too much of the audience's thinking

you have 20 minutes to forget about the game

Sat, 06 Jan 2007 04:56:19 GMT

Thinking about Taryn is just like playing the game. As long as I'm not thinking about Taryn, I'm winning. Then I think, "Wow, it's been a long time since I've thought about Taryn." This of course causes me to promptly think about Taryn. 20 minute buffer time starting now.

a declaration
Next week is Proposal Week, in which I write my proposals.

you'll know i'm found when all hell breaks loose
My brother and I are alternating between an episode of House and Commando. It is heavily cut. Commando, that is. I suppose House is cut too since we don't catch all of it. Actually, it's re-cut because we're Tivoing it. Speaking of House, I know it's basically the same thing every episode, but I still haven't gotten sick of it.

the berkshires
My brother's friend's dad had a timeshare in the Berkshires, right around Lenox MA. I went out there with him and two of his friends. It was essentially an excuse for sweet sweet legal (for me) alcohol abuse, although fear not - no drunken snowboarding.

with a capital t and that rhymes with p and that stands for pool
We have a pool table at my house now, and I received a cue for my birthday. I've been having a lot of pointless fun.

some freaky shit
check out the "have some fun" section with the ads. if there were indeed a world like that, it would be a terrifying place.

thr3e am, january 2econd, two-1h00sand sev7n

Tue, 02 Jan 2007 09:05:38 GMT

I wonder what Thr3e's deal is so obviously ripping off Sev7n... The first thing that came to me.

so long suckas
A lot of bad shit went down this year. Things between my parents are getting rough, although for now I won't be elaborating. Not that it's hard to guess. Things with me have been rough. I'm excited to get a fresh start, and it really feels like a new period for me, what with going into a new year, being completely single and turning 21. It's a lot to happen.

a grand tradition
The proud tradition of awkwardly hooking up with a high school friend on First Night has continued. No guesses allowed in the comments section. Not that it's hard to guess. I don't really know if it was a good decision or a bad decision. Other than the soreness from having slept on the floor, I woke up feeling refreshed. I think. But also really tired. But that's from not sleeping. I guess I feel like it's a new year, and if I try my best eventually things will go my way.

retrospectively
Good things did happen. A lot of them had to do with artistic developement: The Skin of Our Teeth, knowledge gained from acting classes (the Miss Julie scene in particular), the staged readings, Don Pasquale. I've been putting my time to good use.

bad habits to cut down on
Drinkin', smokin', smokin'. I'm not addicted to any of these, but I can see how I could become so.

essays
I've been helping my mom draft her essay for the Harvard Graduate School of Education. She wants to be a middle school math teacher in an urban setting. She's actually extremely qualified as an actuary and also someone who has basically run the public schools for 18 years. All that editing made me want to teach. Well maybe not that much. You never know.

the little things
Good Charlotte sucks. But it's true. Two nights ago, I started thinking about the treehouse Taryn showed me that she made with her dad in her backyard. All we did was climb up, sit in it for about 5 minutes, and climb back down. No hanky panky I swear. But I just couldn't get this stupid, dirty little treehouse out of my mind. Or sometimes I remember walking around in Penn Station, getting ready to get a connecting train to Long Island. She's not even in those memories much, but in some ways they're the worst. I don't know what it is.

clear your schedules
My jazz band, sans eclecticband, will be playing at ADPhi's Lush Life party on January 26th, in the ADPhi lounge. The party starts at 10p, not sure if we're going on then or at midnight. It'll be some great music, and the cocktails are always classy. See you there.

immediate resolutions

things to stop:
habits
thinking such thoughts
staying up this late

things to start
reading
my play proposals
exercise

d'uh

the suspense is killing me

new years resolution meme

Sat, 30 Dec 2006 21:17:11 GMT

In 2007, Head_Cheese resolves to...

Tell my family about thedans.
Find a better travel.
Give up directing.
Lose ten begermans by March.
Learn to play the music.
Pay for my jazz_snobs on time.

fall on your knees

Fri, 29 Dec 2006 09:18:09 GMT

Ah, the late night blog update. If you can call this a blog. More like e-angst. Pretty sure that term's been coined before.

all i got for christmas
Christmas was fun. I didn't really need that much. Got an external hard drive, so I won't lose my entire music collection if it ever crashes again. Also got a whammy pedal and a pickup mic for my trombone. I can now play in all manner of intervals with myself. I'm thinking of taking the pedal back to Guitar Center and bringing my trombone. I don't think anyone's ever tried the effects pedals in their store with something like that before. It sounds damn cool, I'm just wondering if I can find one that also does distortion and delay.

being 21
Had to get my license renewed, so I've been using my passport as ID until they send me a new one. Not that I'm going to bars much... I haven't really found anyone to go with, and I hate the idea of drinking alone.

resolution
I need to work out and read all those books about the theatre I've taken home. Additionally, finish that short story and start writing that play. On the positive side, I've started to play trombone a hell of a lot more, but I need to be more methodical in my approach, and actually practice.

a twinge of fear / glimmer of hope
Interesting how that works... Are my entries just glorified lists?

old friends
Chilled with my oldest friend from Weston for almost 12 hours yesterday. We talked about a lot of things, went for a walk at 5 am and watched the paper get delivered. What it feels like to me is that I need my world expanded again. It's just me and her right now. The problem is I still have to deal with seeing her for the first time. This is not news.

i just wish i knew more about why, and how she feels about me now

But I don't. I probably never will. Hideous how these always come back to this, eh? I probably won't get over her until the end of next semester.

fun fact
Did you know that alcoholism is the only addiction from which you can die by going into withdrawal? When I first heard it, that blew my mind.

my favorite christmas carol
Before the season's over. O Holy Night.

swm seeks f
Must have looks, brains, and a personality. Appreciation of Shakespeare a plus, but not required. I've been kind of blue lately, but maybe the impressions your angel eyes can make on me will get me beginning to see the light. And my eyes are two different colors. Blueish green and greenish blue. Sometimes.

first night
Will be in Boston for First Night. Your American "New Year's Eve." Let me know if you'll be there too.

slowly getting through
The Director's Voice - Arthur Bartow
In Respect to Acting - Uta Hagen
Metamorphoses - Mary Zimmerman
Death of a Salesman - Arthur Miller
The Elephant Vanishes - Haruki Murakami
Zen in the Art of Archery - Eugen Herrigel

I need to stop picking up new books.

i need to stop thinking about these things so much.

I'm 21.

Sat, 23 Dec 2006 06:27:32 GMT

First drink with a Mr. Ben Egerman, my little brother Tim, and the waiter Leah at Uno's. My license technically expired on my birthday, but I was informed by the manager that since it's technically the same business day for Uno's. Yeah, they were cool.

Fri, 22 Dec 2006 23:14:07 GMT

Why the hell do I beat myself up over this so much? Facebook is like some kind of self-torture device. But I want to find out what's happening with her! How do you stop this crap?

I'm going to go play trombone I guess.